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Uncollected Citizen Jim Stories

Disclaimer
In which Chicken Sheets explains the bathos of the Citizen Jim stories so that nobody will think the violence, misogyny, and various -phobias explored in the stories as anything but satire.

Every Citizen Jim Story (Super-Compressed, Ultra-ADD Version)
In which Citizen Jim arrives, accuses, harasses, pouts, and leaves.

The Royal Immigrant Problem (Choose your version below)
In which Lord Gorblimey of Crikey Downs (a/k/a Citizen Jim) arrives with the news that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex will soon be arriving to stay with Chicken Sheets. But just until they can get back on their feet.

Uncut VersionADD Version

The F*cking Queen!
In which Citizen Jim arrives late in the story and accuses Chicken Sheets of contemplating rank, unconscionable perfidy.

Night Blondness
In which Citizen Jim comes out of hiding to castigate Chicken Sheets for not sharing an important Hollywood tidbit with him. (If you’re triggered by the phrase “WITCH HUNT,” stop reading.)

The Witchfunder Finder General
In which Citizen Jim arrives on a special mission from the highest office in the land—a mission that leads him to the doorstep of Chicken Sheets.

Uncollected Classic: Hallowe’en Installment
In which a stranger arrives and Chicken Sheets realizes she knows him. Probably the second-ever Citizen Jim story.

Junk in My Trunk
In which Citizen Jim extorts Chicken Sheets for the privilege of telling her why he locked himself in the trunk of her car.

Bingo Tuesday Morning Has Broken
In which Citizen Jim arrives where Chicken Sheets works and nearly turns her posse against her in fifteen minutes’ time.

Sock It to Me!
In which Citizen Jim arrives during a counseling session and teaches Chicken Sheets’s therapist a thing or two about…a thing or two.

Disagreement Engine: The Intro, Origin Story, and the REAL Intro (by Real Jim)
In case you’ve ever wondered what the hell the Citizen Jim Stories are, why I write them, how they came to be, and what Real Jim thinks of them, just read this.

Hey! Want to buy the COLLECTED Citizen Jim Stories?
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An Awesome Collection of Great Tales!