It was a day of the week and there was weather outside. I was feeling some kind of way because of a pop culture event or a political happening or my own cruel self-examination, and so I had to keep myself busy with a task of no consequence.
Then Citizen Jim came to visit me.
He was dressed outlandishly in what resembled a costume chosen to reflect something about the nature of his visit.
Also, I noticed his hairy, ape-like hands.
“I’m glad you came to visit me! I missed you!” I said.
“No you aren’t and no you didn’t,” he said, then tried to intimidate me with emotional, verbal, and/or physical violence. But in a funny way that nobody should take seriously.
So I wasn’t frightened, only annoyed. “Why are you here?” I asked.
“Because I’ve got a great idea!”
I doubted that. “I doubt that,” I said.
“Oh yeah? Listen to this.”
Citizen Jim explained his great idea.
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard,” I said.
“Only the dumbest person alive would say that’s the dumbest thing they ever heard,” he said.
“You’re right. I’m an idiot. Anything else?”
He shrugged. “I guess not.”
“Well, okay. I hope you come back soon!” I said.
“Considering how much you despise me, I have a hard time believing that,” he said.
“Despise you? Oh, Precious Lamb! How could I despise my best friend in the whole world?”
“Tell it to your blog, you hateful lesbian!”
Citizen Jim left. Dang!