Oh, well. Why not?

Have I ever mentioned what a Twittiot I am? This is my word (probably not original: shut up!) for being a Twitter Idiot. I’m so bad at it. Instagram, too. All those hashtags and @-symbols and the never-ending. always-updating scroll on both platforms.

I was born in 1969. This is not the future I imagined. I just wanted hand-held video cameras to not cost $8,000 and hoped Game Theory would one day win a  Grammy.*

“WILL video cameras ever be affordable for the average Josephine?”


Because I’m bad at Twitter and Instagram, I have very few followers on either site. Nobody reads this blog, either. Also, I’m pretty sure most people who haven’t already hidden me on Facebook do after every Labor Day weekend is over. Because equating socialism with Stalin’s purges.

So I logged on to Twitter and noticed I had a new follower. I went to this new follower’s Twitter page. I clicked a blog link. After reading the post I got interested – in the book she wants to write (working title: This Is Your Brain on a Quest), and about the Patreon model she is trying to use to fund the writing of said book. (My friend Brian uses Patreon, but he hasn’t come out for or against it yet.)

I studied the tiers of patronage. A dollar per month (“Acquaintance”) seemed too wishy-washy, while $5 per month (“Friend”) was a little out of my budget right now. So I decided to donate $2.50 per month, and call my custom tier “Cool Bartender at Lame Party.”

That girl better write a GREAT BOOK with all this money I’m giving her, or I’m gonna tear Twitter UP!

*: Game Theory never did win a Grammy. Also, their lead singer died in 2013. DAMN it.