All the Titles You Will Ever Need

Before next week is over I will be publishing a pamphlet on Amazon called All the Titles You Will Ever Need: A Treasury of Awesome, As-Yet-Unused Titles for Books, Stories, and Genre Series. It is being compiled and edited by my old friend Arabella London.

I’ll probably sell it for $1.25, which is how much Hills Department Store charged in the 80s for 7-inch singles (what we called “45s” because they were played on our turntables at 45 revolutions per minute [RPM], versus the 33 RPM of LPs, and 78 RPM of those heavy, old-timey records my grandma still had a ton of even when I was a teenager).

It will most likely sell 50,000 copies within the first week, which means Arabella and I can split the money and quit our jobs before the year is over.

I’m writing about it on this blog because I don’t want anyone to know about it. We all know that nobody reads this blog, so my secret plans to become financially solvent are safe here.

Abbotsford. The Library. Photo by George Washington Wilson. Image courtesy of the Getty’s Open Content Program.