Is It My Face?

I’ve been on a mini-vacation from work for the past five days, and for me that’s meant staying in and getting other work done—housework, writing, social media, etc. But I got a call at around 7:30 on Friday night from a friend who was at the Waffle House with her girlfriend eating dinner. She asked me to join them, so I told her to order me a waffle with half a cup of coffee and that I’d be there in five. We were just shooting the shit, as you do at the Waffle House, talking about books, and at one […] Read More

Ghostbangers?

Now. I ask you: why are these women going from men directly to water creatures and spirits without even trying out having sex with other human women? Believe me, it’s not just a ghost who could make a woman say, “It was very strange, but the sex was amazing!”

I Can’t Stop Hating This

Through no fault or great plan of my own, I happened to stumble upon the most idiotic, ridiculous, vomit-inducing thing I’ve seen on Amazon in a long time. (And I see books by Nicholas Sparks on that site quite often.) Here is a picture of it: Think about that! No, don’t! I know, I know: besides all that, why does it make me so mad to see a product like this? Because of everything I just wrote! To hear heterosexual Christians talk, they’re so fucking expert at being married that nobody except heterosexuals should be allowed to get married. And […] Read More

Bumbling Towards Ecstasy

So. Sunday wedding announcements in the Times. Blah blah blah. [Caitlin and James] met almost a year ago on the dating app Bumble. [Carolyn and Brian], who met on the dating app Bumble, were married at Playa Largo Resort in Key Largo, Fla. Obviously, today’s offerings were strange only in that two of the newly married couples each met on a dating app called Bumble. Really?! I got a little excited!