Not a Review: Phantom Thread

Other titles for this movie:

Phantom Plot

Phantom Reason for Existing

Phantom Justification for All Those Oscar Nominations

Stray Observations (in title form):

You’ll Feel Like You Sat There for Seven Bloody Hours

Daniel Day-Lewis is Inherently Creepy

Why Not Roller Girl As Woodock’s Muse

Why Not Mark Wahlberg as Woodcock

Now I Understand How Elaine Felt During The English Patient (Both Times)

Yeah, Okay: Great Costumes