I Can’t Stop Hating This

Through no fault or great plan of my own, I happened to stumble upon the most idiotic, ridiculous, vomit-inducing thing I’ve seen on Amazon in a long time. (And I see books by Nicholas Sparks on that site quite often.)

Here is a picture of it:

Christian Art Gifts Conversation Starters for Husbands & Wives
I don’t think this would make me so mad if 1.) it weren’t being marketed by and for Christians, and 2.) if so many Christians hadn’t tried for so long to keep me from gaining the legal right to marry a woman. Do I want to get married? Not really. Do I want the right to get married if I change my mind one day? Of course I do, and it’s absolutely fucking ridiculous that gay people in the United States have only been granted in the last three years the full-on, unambiguous right to marry whoever they want. 

Think about that! No, don’t!

I know, I know: besides all that, why does it make me so mad to see a product like this? Because of everything I just wrote! To hear heterosexual Christians talk, they’re so fucking expert at being married that nobody except heterosexuals should be allowed to get married.

And yet. AND YET!

They need a box full of cards with conversation topics on them in order to talk to each other? Would somebody in a marriage of any least quality truly need something like that to maintain said stellar quality?

Hell no, I’m not going to link to it! Whoever created this and whoever is buying it can go to hell!

This concludes my Blog Post Instead of Commenting on Wedding Announcements this weekend. Thank you. Come again!

(Within a few days I will have calmed down and will have seen how stupid this post is, how misplaced my anger is, how useless my ire is, and I will shrug my shoulders and go on, thinking, “If that’s what gets ’em through the night, who am I to judge?” I’m nothing if not self-aware these days. Yes, and it’s awful.)

“Could you playBronski Beat one more time before last call? Thanks, man!”