New Citizen Jim story: The Witchfunder Finder General

In which Citizen Jim arrives on a special mission from the highest office in the land—a mission that leads him to the doorstep of Chicken Sheets. READ THE STORY

Best Tweets of the Week

3 Straight women really need to admire our patience. Every week a GODDESS with a MASTER’S DEGREE who speaks FIVE LANGUAGES shows me a photo of her, stunning, next to a bearded ketamine dealer with Murder Eyes who has never smiled and says, “What would I do without this goofball?” — Meredith Russo, Author of…

New Citizen Jim story: “Night Blondness”

In which Citizen Jim comes out of hiding to castigate Chicken Sheets for not sharing an important Hollywood tidbit with him. READ THE STORY

One Last Thing on This, Francis Bacon’s Birthday

Nothing about Francis Bacon. Sorry. It’s about this headline in an Australian newspaper that I stumbled upon. Angus man who tried to fly drone into Perth Prison claimed Romanian circus stole his chihuahua How does one even begin to unpack all of that? I haven’t read the story. I don’t think I want to. I’m…

The Pressure of Writing for an Audience…

I need to hurry up and write something and post it before I start to get my second wind and end up not going to bed until after 11:00 like last night. Aging bodies need more sleep, I am discovering (and lamenting). But hey! Exciting evening. Dragged empty garbage can from the curb and toted…

Safe Space

I’m doing some autumn-based spring cleaning on my computer–deleting files, saving some to thumb drives, uploading others to Google Drive. I found one old image I created a long time ago as a logo for a blog I had called Pop Waste. I don’t want to keep it, and I don’t want to upload to…

For the Record (Before Records Became Cool Again)

I just remembered that the first time I saw Marilyn (Brian Warner) Manson on MTV I had to turn the channel because the video playing (“Sweet Dreams [Are Made of This]”) made me physically ill. And when I say it made me physically ill, I don’t mean that metaphorically. I really thought I was going…

Hold Your Horses!

I originally wanted to call this post “Hold On to Your Hats!” because of the exciting news it contains. But you’ll see why I changed my mind in a minute. My residents and I baked cookies today! It was our first time using the awesome over-sized toaster oven donated to us by one of the…

Cancel Everything

Earbuds–regardless of their style or size–have always hurt my ears when I wear them. That’s why I bought a pair of over-the-ear noise-cancelling headphones to have with me on the plane when I was flying out to Denver back in May. I love them so much. But I’ve noticed lately that sometimes I put them…

At Least Someone Gives a Hoot

One of my co-workers has been a pretty–and by “pretty” I mean very–loyal reader of the Citizen Jim Stories. When she discovered that were no new Citizen Jim stories to read and that she would have to wait for the first mega-collection to be available through iBooks, she said, “I guess I’ll have to start…

2019 Nobel Prize-Guessing: I Was Correct

Last week I predicted the winner of the 2019 Nobel Prize in Literature, and I was right. Well, I was right about one of the winners. I forgot they had to pick two since there was no prize given last year.

Two More Things About Rip Taylor’s Death

) Pendarvis didn’t drop the ball—he just didn’t dribble it on his blog. Observe: I worked with Rip Taylor once and he was really nice. He was out of confetti so I had to go buy him some! He had really specific preferences about confetti. I took a lot of notes — Jack Pendarvis (@JackPendarvis)…

Two Things About Rip Taylor’s Death

I saw earlier this evening that Rip Taylor passed away, and I immediately wanted to be able to go to my RSS feed and find that Jack Pendarvis had maybe written something about this news on his blog (even though he rarely blogs about anything not related to the appearance of owls in books anymore)….

“Oh, P.” — A Taylor Swift Memory

Thanks to never throwing away a single email of the tens of thousands I’ve exchanged between myself and certain friends, I dug up an old one that I thought I had written but wasn’t sure I actually had written. Because it referenced Taylor Swift.  So, you know, considering the fact I was 45 years old at the…

Pulpy Goodness for Seniors

There is a “movie night” every Wednesday at the retirement home where I work that’s sometimes called “Rooney’s Request.” “Rooney’s Request” is, in effect, a warning placed before the title of the movie on the events calendar. This is because Mr. Rooney almost always requests something barely palatable to the rest of the community. No…