I Saw Lon Chaney (Jr.) Dancing with the Queens

I don’t even know where to start this post. You might say it starts more than a decade ago, though it could actually be traced from a decade ago to almost three decades ago. 

Screw it. I’m not going back that far, and I’m not going to explain everything I wanted to explain in this post. I’m not getting paid to do this – until I do you’ll take what I give you and lump it or leave it.

A week or so ago I was sitting at the bar of Ravenite Pizzeria with my friend Jim waiting for our pizza to be handed over so we could go back to his mom’s and eat it. At some point during the course of a conversation about a dead writer and a town where there are lots of living writers, I told Jim that I had never missed a blog post by Jack Pendarvis since the first time I read his blog back in 2007 or 2008.

That was two girlfriends, several cats, many jobs, and seven moves ago. Holy crap. 

Anyway. I have read a lot of other things that Jack Pendarvis has written – one old thing, in fact, that I recently read made me laugh so hard that I peered out the barely cracked window beside my desk to make sure nobody was outside to overhear my cackling, the likes of  which I have only otherwise produced while watching “Childrens Hospital” and/or “Strangers with Candy.

But I was looking at the Twitter today, something I rarely do. I’m about to get back on some abandoned social media platforms at the behest of – never mind. That’s not your business. Maybe I’ll tell you another day.

So. I was looking at Twitter, and saw a tweet from Jack Pendarvis that included a video of the opening theme to an old 70s show called “Makin’ It.” There was also a song in the 70s called “Makin’ It,” but I’m not sure if it became popular because it was the theme song of the TV show, or if the TV show was based on the lyrics of the song.

(This was not uncommon back in the old days. One time when I was a kid the various story lines and characters of a soap opera spawned a rap song that did quite well on the charts. Why? Because we were desperate back then. Desperate for entertainment. We had 13 TV channels and only tiny transistor radios! And that song offered rip-offs of so many kinds – the aforementioned rap music, Chic, “The Hustle.” You name a musical fad from the era and that song probably appropriated it! Certainly weirder things passed for entertainment in the 70s.)

What’s weird – and why I’m writing this post even though I have veered so far from my original intent that I am only finishing it out of some desire to not squander every single second of my time on Earth starting and then abandoning social media platforms and what they may one day have to offer me as a writer – is that I watched the opening credits to “Makin’ It” less than a week ago, thinking to myself, “Who has kept VHS tapes this far past the demise of VCRs, and who has transferred the content of these tapes  from VHS to digital format, and who the hell else is watching them on YouTube?”

Apparently, one person who is watching them besides me is Jack Pendarvis.

So. That’s it. That’s all I meant to say. Kind of. I mean, pretty much.

Also: I’m pretty sure I probably had a crush on Denise Miller. I’m only sure of this because she was female and because she was on TV and I had a crush on every female on TV* – and most females who were not on TV – when I was between the ages of 5 and 15.

Then I tried to be straight for about two years, but finally went back to having crushes on most females from then until now.

*: One of my deepest crushes was on Debralee Scott. But nothing ever came close to my crush on Lindsay Wagner. Not even my crushes on Kate Jackson, Jan Smithers, or Marcia Strassman.

(Yeah, I’m too lazy to get any more links for this post. Sorry. But maybe you’re lazy, too, for not looking things up yourself!)