A little while ago I apologized to a friend of mine via Facebook Messenger about sending her a link she can’t really make good use of. A moment later I said, “I gotta go blog.”
So the two exchanges, if viewed as one, seem to say, “Sorry. I gotta go blog.”
This sort of tickles me for a number of reasons.
For one thing, I don’t ever “gotta” blog. I’m just trying to write one post a day to assuage my guilt over not writing as much as I should be writing every day. Nobody reads this blog, so to say “I gotta go blog” could be seen as ridiculous at best, disingenuous at worst.
That I said “Sorry” and then “I gotta go blog” in what seems like one fell swoop might appear to be an apology for abandoning my Facebook Messenger conversation in order to get the important task of blogging done. Which, as I just explained, is not the case.
So it could also look like a snarky way of saying, “Yeah, okay, sorry. This has gone on long enough. I guess I’ll just go…and blog. Or something, I don’t know. Whatever.”
This was not the case either. That particular exchange was rather short. Plus, I always enjoy my exchanges with said friend on Facebook Messenger. I’d venture to guess that I enjoy our exchanges almost 87.5% more than she does. In fact, I don’t know why I even put her through the agony of receiving my messages.
Which makes any of the aforementioned scenarios extra hilarious.
If I had to pitch a TV show to a studio right now, I would pitch a situation comedy about our friendship. It would star Amy Sedaris (in full-on Jerri Blank get-up) as me, and maybe Teri Hatcher or Demi Moore as my friend. The premise of the show could be a failed writer trying to convince her shy friend to star in a reality show with her. Each week the show would be set in a different location with a revolving bunch of intriguing “regular” cast members (mostly just extras pulled into the scenes at restaurants and gas stations and liquor stores).
The friend never agrees to star in the writer’s TV show, but she’s always too nice to say No to the writer. The friend lets the writer figure it out on her own every week. The writer never learns her lesson completely.
It will run for six episodes and get canceled. But it will win an Emmy anyway.
“Sorry. I gotta go blog.”